Over the course of multiple weeks, I read Tara Schuster’s Buy Yourself the F*cking Lillies while working out on my treadmill.
It took some adjusting, I assure you. I’ve read on a stationary bike before but the treadmill was a new ballgame.
I would definitely recommend that you do not read this book while on the treadmill because if you – like me – like to journal or take notes, it’s really hard to do while working out. I took pictures of a couple things with my phone or saved something in the notes app, but it’s not quite the same.
Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies will motivate you to create a life surrounded by the things you love from the inside out. Your existence will be full to the brim with reminders of the the things that make you happy. From the way you treat others to the way you respect yourself, this book will have something for you.
One thing Tara Schuster suggested in the book is writing down your wishes and putting them in a pretty place that is meaningful to you. Hers is a macaron box, mine also happens to be a macaron box. It’s a beautiful dark green with gold writing and is the perfect vessel for wishes both big and small. It had been sitting on a counter because I couldn’t bear to throw it away – destiny obviously had a plan for it. 🙂
She also shares a gratitude exercise she received as a recommendation – writing down a certain amount of things you’re grateful for every day in a journal. If you do that every day for a month, that’s 300 things to be grateful for! And if you did it for a whole year? That’s 3,650 things! You’ll likely repeat some things, but being able to recognize gratitude in even the smallest moments is important.
Her book (and some personal events) inspired me to do a “happiness challenge”. From January 20th to January 31st, I did one thing every day that made me happy, with the caveat that it be something I was doing intentionally for myself.
Doing things for your own happiness is so so so important to our wellness and self-worth. Tara Schuster reminded me that I am deserving of being treated intentionally well.
I am not an after-thought. I am not on this earth for passive consideration.
By treating myself well, I show others how I want to be treated.
This does not mean I want other people to buy me pearls and wine & dine me (don’t get me wrong, that sounds great!) This exercise helped shape my perception of treatment that I will accept from men in particular.
I have long struggled with less-than-adequate behavior from men being justified as something exceptional and noteworthy. I do not need a wealthy partner, but I do need someone who understands that the bare minimum will not fly. We all deserve to be treated in the best possible way.
This does not mean someone wealthy who can buy you things. This means someone’s intentions and actions match – if not exceed – the level of respect and care you know you deserve.
It’s been a few weeks since I finished the happiness week and a lot happened emotionally that sidelined the blog. Revisiting this post at this particular time is major because it goes to show how much I once again began to prioritize other things over my own happiness. Although, I have been able to stick with a daily journaling practice because of it – so something positive did come about.
My Happiness Activities
Day 1 – Got fancy at home in a dress + pearls
Day 2 – Bought myself beautiful white flowers that looked good everywhere in my house
Day 3 – Did a writing exercise (check out the blog post here)
Day 4 – Baking – almond flour chocolate chip banana bread
Day 5 – Watched some Jim Gaffigan stand-up
Day 6 – Taking photos and playing around with editing
Day 7 – Laughing with others and getting to know them
Day 8 – Running
Day 9 – Singing and listening to music I love
Day 10 – Hiking
Day 11 – Grocery shopping
I will note that on day 10, I did my activity – hiking – and did not feel happier in those moments. I fully recognized that hiking generally makes me happy and on that particular day it did not. This lesson was important for two reasons:
1. It reminded me that we are humans with various stressors going on internally and externally
2. I did the activity anyway, knowing that I wouldn’t at least feel worse for having tried.
What makes you happy? What inspires you to spread joy or a lesson learned?
Check out more from Tara Schuster and learn about her book at her website.
Happy reading, friends!